The recent elections brought out
the patriotic fervour amongst the nation’s populace. They fought over the
country, for the country and within the country! The social and other media
threw up quite a few of the ardent patriots who were all extremely concerned
about the future of the country. A
closer inspection of the various opinions expressed and their modus, by the
patriots of this great nation, revealed quite a few categories into which these
patriots can be classified according to their proclivities.
The Cubicle Patriot: These are the IT wizards who can in a blink
of an eye conjure up an app with a wave of their left hand and simultaneously
code a few bugs with their right. They sit in their 2 x 2 cubicles in
gargantuan, space age, glass façade buildings,
that shuts out the sun, but lets in the light. They set out to fight the
disbelievers on facebook, chat rooms and similar battlefields in the virtual
world, using jingoistic aphorisms and
extreme obscenities as their primary weapons. This patriot does not know fear.
Age, race, size, and six pack abs of the opponent don’t scare them. Their obscurity
is their shield.
The Cocktail Circuit
Patriot: These are the wine glass
clinking, high heeled or leather soled (depending on the gender), elitist,
party hopping patriots, who are hard pressed to serve the society by doing
“social work” during their free time. They move about in the higher echelons of
power, are often visible on visual and print media and their opinions are
bandied about with absolute authority as the defining prognosis for the future.
The Activist Patriot: These are
the foreign /corporate funded, cause-driven or deemed to be driven, activists
whose views are accepted as unbiased, as long as the source of their funds are
unknown. These activists would travel abroad to different countries and speak
about the ills of particular parties/ individuals and their detrimental effects
to world peace if not stopped in time. They would implore upon the world
nations to help the country, scoff at any perceived slight to the national
pride and consider themselves as citizens of the world than being restricted by
boundaries.
The Google Patriot: These are variants of the cubicle patriots,
but harder working and better informed. They will google and research, facts
and figures, and argue with gusto, about the merits and demerits of the case
that they venture to espouse. Every argument would be well researched with the
help of google and thus helps them to counter even the field specialist in a
particular profession, who would hardly have the time to google past history in
his professional pursuit. These patriots usually win their arguments without
much competition unless faced with the Cubicle patriot who may, at the prospect
of defeat, use his vilest weapon to counter google.
The Communist Patriot: These are the surviving few of the erstwhile
communist way of life, for whom China
forms the shining example of progress and development and Mao the living God!
(Err dead god….. no… non living god …..er …. whatever) They would find problems
with the national policy of the government in case of any issues with China and if questioned about their
patriotism and loyalty, have the answer ready for any doubting johnnies, “We
don’t have to prove our patriotism to you !”
The Intellectual Patriot: These are the deemed “intellectuals” of the
country. They could be sleazy film directors who engage in social service by
launching porn stars into mainstream cinema, former bureaucrats currently
engaged in full time sycophancy, litterateurs, theatre artists, song writers,
kitsch novelists, environmentalists, or in some cases even film stars. They are
considered intellectual enough to speak on any subject varying from foreign
policy to internal security and from poverty alleviation to minority
affairs. They express their pain at the
marginalized sections of the society, speak about freedom of expression and art,
and even deride promises of development lest it affects the sentiments of a
particular community.
The Fauji Patriot: These are the dumb
patriots. They have strong opinions on the condition of the country but since
as they are governed by an Act which forbids them to discuss politics they go
and drink rum with soda and under conditions of extreme disapproval at the
sorry state of affairs, they drink it neat.
Then they go about their duty, wondering what the other patriots have in
store for them, keep vigil at the border, get shot, some coming back in body
bags and are immediately replaced by the next lot, who would have, by then,
downed their couple on the rocks, wondering when sense would prevail on the
rest.
The Idiot Box Patriot: They form the majority of the population and
may also be termed as the saas-bahu patriots. They are the ubiquitous middle
class, mango men, who work hard for a better life for themselves and their
children. They are not aware of divisions based on caste, religion or communities
and often wonder what the hullabaloo is all about. Their life after work
revolves around the idiot box, their opinions swaying with the intensity of the
high pitched anchor on prime time. They go about choosing their party with
absolute innocence, maintaining eternal hope as the only factor that decides
their future.
The Political Patriot : These are the public warriors of the country,
generally found wearing white and a collapsible cap on their head, that enables
them to wear different hats for different
situations. They carry their patriotism on their sleeve. For them the country
is their ‘MAA”. So they profess undying love for their “MAA”, professing their salutations, “ Maa, Tujhe
Salaam” and then when elected to power, don’t mind pocketing a few crores
belong to ‘Maa”. After all which mother would deny her child some pocket money
from her purse.
“ Tujhe sab hai pata……meri Maa”!
